Despite the fact that I am not, in any way, superstitious, I kind of have this rule: don't make definitive statements about the absolute happening of an event until it happens; it kind of feels like you're tempting the universe to prank you. I don't always follow it, I know it's kind of silly, but it's there and hard to shake. It's normal. It's human.

Sometimes it happens that it looks like I should stick to that rule.

Eleven days back I wrote about how I was aiming to return to streaming thanks to the fact that I'd once again be the proud owner of a full fibre connection. The thing that, in part, prompted me to write about that was the fact that I'd had an email, that morning, from Openreach, to let me know they'd done some work and that fibre was now available at my property.

The email proudly stated:

Hello Dave,

Congratulations, you can now get Full Fibre on the Openreach network at [my home address].

With Full Fibre broadband, you can choose your package based on the download speeds you'll need from 40 Mbps to 1.6 Gbps. Need some help choosing? Then read our blog before ordering to find out what's a good download speed.

We also have the UK's biggest choice of broadband providers, so you can find a package and price to suit you.

After a button that linked to a site for finding a provider, it went on to say:

After you've placed your order with the provider of your choice, we'll arrange a day and time with you for one of our engineers to connect Full Fibre to your property if it isn't there already.

They may need to drill a small hole in your wall, or they may be able to use the same access point as your current line. Either way, they'll take care of everything and leave you with a broadband that's ready to deal with anything the future brings. You can find out more about what's involved in our handy Full Fibre installation video.

I found this whole email mildly amusing because it was obvious that the work they'd done, that made this possible, will have been the result of the call I made to EE back in March to order fibre in the first place, when it became apparent I was finally able to request it.

So, yeah, when Openreach -- the people who do the cables and stuff -- email you to let you know they've as good as hooked your place up, you know it's a safe bet.

Today was the day. This morning, between 08:00 and 13:00, was the window I'd been given for one of their engineers to turn up and do the hole drilling and the box screwing and all the stuff and then this evening I'd be in a position where, once again, I could download the whole Internet and stream utter nonsense in the highest quality (both creating and consuming). I was looking forward to this.

Everyone in the house was.

The time window started, and kept going, and kept going, and eventually it was 13:00 and nobody had turned up and my house had no extra wires or holes and I was on the phone to EE to ask WHERE IS THE GLASS INTERNET PIPE?!?

Long story short: it wasn't turning up. At all. It appears, at some point in the recent past, Openreach simply cancelled the order and nobody thought to tell me. Openreach (the people who sent me the email 11 days ago) didn't think to tell me. That's the same Openreach who sent me the SMS on the 7th of this month to give me the date of the work; apparently they could not send me an SMS to let me know they'd decided against this.

Of course, it's not all on Openreach. It would also seem that EE knew, from their own system, that the order had been cancelled and they too had failed to email me, message me, call me, something, to let me know I'd be wasting my time clearing half my day to receive them and have the work take place.

So: pretty shitty service all round.

The main explanation I've been given is something to do with a "CBT"1, or something related. This means that it's just not possible to deliver fibre to my address. This is after:

  • I called to check in March
  • I was told in March it was possible
  • Openreach checked things out, said more work was needed, did the work
  • I literally saw them doing the work, with a trench and barriers and everything
  • I was emailed by Openreach after the work took place to say they'd done the work and I could have fibre

Even today, even right now, if I go on their site and put in my exact address:

I can have fibre

Not "no". Not "eventually". Not "soon". Now. It says now.

At this point this is where I have to say, after making a bit of a mess of all of this, EE have done all they can to smooth things over (especially given there's sod all they can actually do about this). They've compensated me for the missed appointment (despite the fact it wasn't technically missed; it had been cancelled and nobody had let me know), left me to hang on to all the new equipment for if/when the fibre does turn up (meaning I'll have a backup router I guess), and have also compensated me for 3 months of my current copper-based broadband by way of an apology.

On top of that they didn't just brush me off with a "sorry, can't do anything about this", they went to bat for me during a 90 minute phone conversation, chasing up more detailed explanations of what the issue was with Openreach, as we talked. While I don't actually have a solution that is anything other than "you'll have to wait", at least now I have something of a better explanation as to what the actual problem is.

So where does this leave me? Here's what I do know:

  • Some time next year, the copper network will be ceasing to work (or something to that effect). This means that EE/Openreach have to have fibre in place.
  • The issue that stopped my installation is solvable and, in all likelihood, is the sort of thing that will be solved in the next few months (mention being made of a reasonable range of between a 2 to 6 month wait).
  • Almost every alternative provider I could go to would have the same issue, as they all work over the fibre that Openreach would install.
  • From what I can see no provider that isn't Openreach-connected is even the least bit interested in providing fibre.
  • Openreach have promised that the moment they have a solution to the technical problem that stops the installation, they will call me and arrange to kick things off again (or at least, I guess, let me know it's safe to place the order with EE again).

To be clear too: we're not talking about providing a service to a house in the middle of a field in the middle of nowhere, not even a house in some out-of-the-way village. I live in a reasonably large town, far bigger than the village I lived in before where I did have full fibre.

All of which concludes with: I started today excited by the prospect of fast downloads, fast uploads, and returning to talking nonsense on YouTube while being terrible at playing games; I'm finishing the day with no clear path to having fibre, and a wait time that could extend well into the rest of this year, and perhaps even into next.

I hope it won't be that bad, but I am deflated and disappointed.

Also, on the very remote chance that either Sharon or Neil from EE ever stumble on this blog post: thank you for all the effort you went to to get actual answers for me. It's a shame that it needs to be said, but it is rare these days that you call a customer support line at a service or utility company and get people who are willing and able to work in a way that isn't just following a script.

Well, except for the bit right at the end... I'm fine Neil, I don't need to swap mobile provider. ;-)


  1. Stop it. You know who you are.