Terminal bean soup

I'm sure most people reading this will be familiar with the concept of "bean soup theory". In case anyone isn't, here's how Wikipedia describes it:

A specific phenomenon described as a 'What about me' effect. An individual watches a video that doesn't pertain to them, but finds a way to make it about them anyway. Stems from a 2023 TikTok recipe for bean soup, with commenters saying "What if I don't like beans?"

I feel there's a very specific set of folk who love to "bean soup" anything relating to terminals, and it's common to have them turn up in your mentions if you happen to do anything in the terminal, or for the terminal, that isn't about their purist opinions and how everything must be a Vim clone, or worse.

I first encountered this when I started working at Textualize. Unsurprisingly, given the point, purpose and focus of Textual, some folk would turn up in the Discord server, in the issues, in the discussions, in the mentions of posts in various places, and post their very important opinions about how TUI software must work. Not... discuss their preferences, or offer suggestions (there were plenty of people who were pleasant like that, they were lovely to converse with), no: their engagement was written as if every word that was mashed into their keyboard was a well-crafted, handed-from-on-high RFC-like holy document that MUST and SHOULD be followed¹.

If I was being very charitable I could cut them some slack. If you're building a framework for building applications for the terminal, there's a good reason to make it at least possible for the application authors to follow recognised best practice and to stick with hard-won conventions. Indeed, Textual has some design choices that I think are deeply questionable and misguided and I objected to them on more than one occasion. So, yeah, if I was being charitable, I could cut them some slack.

I could... if they weren't such arseholes about it.

This gets worse though if you're building an application for the terminal, especially if it's built as Free Software and the motivation is to build something for yourself and be kind enough to share. It irks the hell out of me when I build some application for myself, as a TUI, and then someone turns up and starts complaining about my choice of default key bindings, that work in my choice of terminal emulator and my configuration for that emulator.

It's even worse when they do it in a way where they have to show their very deep knowledge of terminals, and how they're very proud of just how lacking in features and progress their own choice of terminal emulator is.

Dude...² I know. I've used physical terminals. I've written COBOL on a minicomputer using a line editor on some honking great dumb all-green all-in-one box. I've even written code on a terminal using fan-fold paper. I've used all sorts of terminal emulators. I spent well over a decade doing shit inside rxvt which was running on my GNU/Linux server while displaying on my Windows desktop machine.

I've installed and tested plenty of terminal emulators.

I'm well aware of the conventions and expectations. If Ctrl+C doesn't quit... that is my choice. It's not ignorance, it's not a lack of history with this stuff, it's a choice. For my software.

So when you turn up and feel the need to tell me that some function keys might not work in some terminal on some GNU/Linux box... I get it, you don't like beans. If that's the case, how about you either don't make my hobby all about your tastes and how I should build my application to suit you, or how about you RTFM and configure my application so it works in your choice of terminal?

I mean... we know you won't. We know you don't even care about the application I'm having tons of fun building, that I'm spending time in a joyous flow-state creating and tinkering with. You just care about making the post all about you and your purity. We know you just care about showing how smart you are.

We know you just can't resist the urge to reply-guy³.

We get it: you don't like bean soup. Nobody cares. Nobody asked.